"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Reaching the end and starting a new beginning

The good thing about reaching the end is that you can start a new beginning. I wrote about how I needed renewal in 2012  here: New Years Renewal. At the time I really felt like I was at the end of my rope mentally. If you read my blog you know I have suffered from chronic pain for a two years now. No explanation of why despite dozens of medical tests. Not to mention natural remedies and various diet changes. But I can say I have truly grown into a better person in the process. I am continually trying to trust God and have faith in His plan. I say "continually trying", because at times it feels so much easier to trust and others it feels almost impossible. When I wrote that post I was feeling that God was just so far away. I wish He was here to tell me everything is going to be okay, I am going to be okay. I prayed for renewal. I prayed for strength, courage, contentment and to grow closer to my Heavenly Father.

God is so amazingly good. Just when I was feeling like I had reached the end and I could handle no more, I feel like he gave me sight into a new beginning. I CAN start fresh and new. I may still have to deal with the pain, for now, but I don't need to do it alone. God is here for me always! I will continually work on trusting Him even when it feels impossible. I will trust in His plan for my life, even when I don't understand why. I will pray for His strength. But I know everything is going to be okay, I am going to be okay. I can feel it in my spirit. 

I am seeing a new doctor, a pain specialist. He is confident he can help me get my pain level down. His opinion is that I have a small adhesion in the muscle fibers behind my ribcage or even pinched nerves. It might be too small to see with all the scans I have had. It is so refreshing to hear an explanation. I have heard allot of "Im sorry I cant help you" or "Its all in your head." I feel such a rush of relief. 

Psalm 18:2 “The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, to be content.
Philippians 4:11

1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God,to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by(E)the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose; what a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page.
Eileen Caddy 

Thank you God for a new beginning, without you I would have no hope


Melissa Iverson said...

I am so glad you found a Dr. to help you and just listen. Thanks for the sctripture verses they are a blessing and encouragement to me. I love you!

Susan said...

It is amazing how close we can feel to God during our hardest times in life. I have been sick with a chronic illness for a long time now, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is all a part of making me into the person God wants me to be. He doesn't want me to suffer, but I think he needed to slow my life down so that I could hear him better. I hope that you are able to be healed of this pain you are going through!!