I am feeling rather stretched at the moment. I feel like I am a rubber band that has reached its maximum stretching capacity.
My mystery illness took hold of me this week and I spent a good amount of time in the fetal position trying to cope with mind numbing pain. I am working with the Doctor to try and manage my pain but, have had little success. Trying drug after drug and dealing with unpleasant side affects is more than I can stand sometimes. Why cant I just be normal!
Kevin got rear ended a day later. Then in the evening of the same day I got pulled over for expired registration. Being sick and taking care of the Family, it somehow got overlooked. I cried uncontrollably to the policeman who was very kind and only wrote me a fix-it-ticket despite the fact I couldn't find my current insurance card. I couldn't handle much more....
Well, thats what I thought. The next morning I found blood all over the house. I realized it was coming from Jasper, my 7 month old lab. He had split open his paw pretty bad on some broken glass in the back yard. I took him to the vet for stitches. He has to wear "the cone of shame" for 4-5 weeks and a huge bandage over his whole front leg. Not to mention it was a $400 vet bill.
Just when I think I am going to snap in half, I cry out, "Lord I am stretched as far as I can go!" I feel like He is telling me, "You can do ALL things through ME! Even stretching further than you think you can!" I try to trust in Him and I let the stretching progress as calmly as possible.
More chaos arises, I feel I am about to break again. Then I ask Him again "Lord do you know what happens to rubber bands that get stretched too far? They never return to normal shape and they BREAK! I know what stretching does God, I have had two children and I am not the same physically or mentally."
I hear.... The Lord say, " Nicole, I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you."
I feel chills up my spine. And the pressure releases for a moment. I realize that maybe I am supposed to stretch beyond returning to my normal form. I am to remain in a place of being changed and trusting completely in God! I am to remain stretched (for now) but God wont let me break because He is giving me His divine strength and power.
I have so much to be grateful for.
I am surviving, despite being in pain. It could be so much worse! Thank you for looking after and taking care me God!
Kevin wasn't injured when he was rear ended. Thank you for protecting him God!
I could have gotten a really expensive ticket because I couldn't find my proof of insurance. Thank you for giving me mercy God!
One of the Boys could have gotten cut or injured on the broken glass. It could have been devastating! Thank you God for guarding and protecting my children.
I am so blessed even in hard and impossible circumstances. Thank you Lord for stretching me like a rubber band and thank you for giving me strength in the process. Thank you Lord for keeping me from breaking. I hope I will be changed forever in this process.
Have a blessed weekend everyone!